More than one million Forestry Engineering degrees surface
The recent wildfires have caused 1,112,112 Forestry Engineering degrees to surface. At the same time, more than half a million previously reserved Master’s degrees in Forestry Engineering are being brought into value.
Pinares Cándidos, July 27, 2026
An urgent study by the Chair of Viral Sociology at Ova Fusca Úniversity (OFÚ) has revealed an outrageous number of Forestry Engineering degrees and Master’s degrees in Forestry Engineering previously hidden from society. The investigation began due to an abrupt spike in access requests to graduation-class photo servers during the fires that are sadly battering us this summer.
The report, titled “Regrowth of Forestry Engineers: a Pyro-Summer Analysis”, lays out something that had been suspected on social media: this summer, an enormous number of degree holders have appeared as if out of nowhere.
“Something similar usually happens every summer before August, but this year has been exceptional,” explains Montaña Florida, OFÚ professor: “we hadn’t seen anything like this since what happened with the Master’s in Virology in early 2020, which, by the way, I have, but from before,” Dr. Florida comments with a bit of nervous laughter.
It all started in the early hours of the morning, with a call from the Orlacle data center, where they warned the faculty that “the servers hosting the graduation-class photos received so much traffic that they were down for hours. And Orlacle doesn’t skimp on bandwidth, so I knew something big was happening,” says Petric Toquero, viral-explosion technician. It didn’t take them long to realize that this deserved an urgent viral report.
Some interesting details from the study are:
- In a survey of the surfaced graduates, more than 40% identified as “firefighters in spirit”.
- Out of every 10 respondents, 5 are half.
- Strangely, more than 37% of the Master’s degrees were taken by former students of the Master’s in Railway Systems.
The pressure to have an opinion on every tragedy society suffers is very high, to the point where I think what should be done is to invest more in new detection technologies and above all prevention, because every year we have fires that cause a lot of damage and this year it’s enough to make you cry. [Ed. note: WTF Bermúdez, for God’s sake, is this your opinion or what the hell happened in this paragraph?].
The Chair of Viral Sociology recommends urgent measures in a case of this kind. Among others:
- Forward everything that comes from a degree holder, especially if much of the message is in capital letters.
- You already knew your brother-in-law was an expert. Now is the time to acknowledge it with a good like.
- You never get involved in politics, but.
“The Master’s in Virology in 2020, the one in Security, Defense and Geostrategy, the expert diploma in Volcanology after the Master’s in Geology, of course the Degree in Artificial Intelligence, recently the one in Railway Systems and now the one in Forestry Engineering... I mean, I haven’t even managed to get one qualification before I’m already on to the next,” remarks Ginebro Inló, president of the Association for Excellence in Political Brotherhoods. “This is exhausting, but I learned, back when I got the one in Blockchain, Smart Contracts and Cryptoeconomics, that society needs my voice”.
The full report (with embedded TikToks and Reels) can be downloaded at: https://ovafusca.com/downloads/E1pxE0yy.